THE BEST PART OF ME

I offer the best part of me to you. A collection of original poetry. Thank you for viewing. Enjoy!

Wearing My Fabric

My shirt is worn,

And patches adorn,

My sleeve is ripped,

The seams are torn,

The color has faded to a dusty blue,

In some spots bleach has eaten through,

But I wear my fabric- the skin of my life,

I sew a new patch with every battle I fight,

I’m not ashamed that I’m not starched and clean,

Cuz it’s a reflection of what life really means,

Sometimes we get dirty; sometimes we get worn,

Sometimes we get beat down and get a little torn,

So when I feel that I can’t put up another fight,

I look back at what I’ve overcome on my fabric of life.

 

What Mom Never Said

Don’t be ashamed of tears,

Or make jokes to hide them,

Never walk with your head down,

GOD aint’ down there,

Forgive.

Never decide to marry or divorce for money,

Love people even when it’s hard,

Laugh is the best exercise,

Forgive.

Hug someone you don’t know at least once,

Tip well always,

Confidence goes with everything; wear it daily,

Forgive.

Hug your kids while they let you,

Eat like you grew it,

Be sincere,

Pray.

Forgive.

 

Free Yourself

I’ve decided to cut the strings on a puppet show

That’s gone on too long,

I know it may seem sudden,

But it’s time that to move on,

Since I’ve never been free ,

I’m not sure if I can stand,

But I believe God is holding my hand,

My knees may buckle,

One may touch the ground,

But I’ll die before I turn back around,

I finally realized what no one ever said,

As long as I let these strings are holding me,

I’ll never get ahead,

So please don’t worry about me,

I’m alone but no longer afraid,

I finally realized what it takes to be saved,

Self determination, love and faith.

Are Your Kids Wearing Your Scars?

 

My Mother’s Daughter

I am my mother’s daughter,

Aint I proud of that.

Things could be worse you know,

What if I was never born,

If I never had a chance to have my son,

Yes I am my mother’s daughter

Aint I proud of that,

My mother aint perfect but she sure can laugh,

And when she smiles I can’t help but smile right back,

Still admired by the men with sass and class,

Yes, I’m my mother’s daughter,

Aint I proud of that,

She aint just looks,

No she’s bright as a star,

Can do math quick as lightning,

Beautiful, kind and smart,

Smartest person I think I know,

And that aint bad,

Yes, I’m my mother’s daughter

Aint I so proud of that.

 

Original Poems by Teresa Clay

Are Your Kids Wearing Your Scars?

My Scariest Date Ever: The Tale of The Pregnant Knife Wielding Ex!

I want you to know that what I’m about to share is 100% true. Only the names have been changed. If I hadn’t lived it I wouldn’t believe it either. One thing for sure is you won’t ever feel the same about dating again.

“Well you sound like you’ve done well for yourself” I said with a half smile.   Thank goodness I was on the phone because my face would have given me away for sure. Pure boredom. For the last thirty minutes my newest love interest had bragged on his recent accomplishments.  Sully worked for Eli Lilly; one of the leading pharmaceutical companies in the world, had a beautiful custom-built home and made money in the stock market.  And boy oh boy was he proud.  So at 9pm on a Tuesday night I found myself drowning in his ego. This would be the first time that my inner voice would scream “RUN!” and I would ignore it but unfortunately it wouldn’t be the last.  I continued to entertain him, adding a “wow” and “that’s amazing” on queue. Besides, according to recent reports there are slim pickings out here.  And lets face it.  I’m sure that the guys that are left are probably lacking something that the earlier draft picks had.  This one was fresh out of humility.

We “meet” about three weeks prior to this conversation on POF.  For those of committed relationship status that means Plenty of Fish; an online dating site. Well, they were right.  There are definitely plenty of fish.  However, I think a few may have been affected by a recent oil spill or something. It doesn’t take one very long before Plenty of Fish becomes Plenty of Fuck Ups.

Anyway, we did the usual dating dance. However, one afternoon we meet at The Indianapolis Art Museum.  I’ve always thought museums were great first date ideas.  Never too crowded at museums and you get to appreciate the beauty of creativity.  I was impressed that Sully and I shared a similar interest in art. It was quite romantic as we stood in front of the Picasso on the third level.  The museum instantly became “our place”.  After several dates at the IMA Sully asked if he could take me to dinner.  I agreed. I liked him enough and we had talked and texted non stop since we meet. This man seemed to have a genuine interest, I thought.

The Eagle’s Nest is a five-star rotating restaurant on top of a swanky hotel in downtown Indianapolis. Very impressive for a first dinner date I said to myself. And as I cut into my steak I smiled. It was so decadent, like eating dessert with the perfect wine pairing. I admired the stunning view of the city as we made small talk. At dinner I noticed a scare on Sully’s left underarm. So I asked what happened. And here begins the “I hate my ex” dance. He told me how his ex was crazy and while in a fit of rage she cut him with a knife. Shocked I asked more questions. But he shut me down instantly. “Baby let’s just enjoy our dinner together. I’ll tell you all about it later,” He said. I jumped up threw my drink in his face and said “Tell me now asshole. Because honestly I don’t like you that much and I don’t want to deal with your drama later!” Ok. I didn’t say that. But I wish I had. This would undoubtedly be the second time my inner voice screamed RUN. I ignored her again.

We decided to go back to his place for a night cap. Of course this was his idea. He just had to show me his newly built bar. After saying no to his request weakly several times, I caved. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, the inner voice was ignored again. The house was beautiful and immaculate. We sat at the custom bar, music playing in the background softly. Another seemingly perfect moment. Dating experiences like this were the ones you shared with your girlfriends; pouring over every detail with a smile and wine.

After we were comfortably seated across from each other he raised his arm showing his scar and said “want to hear what happened?” I did actually. I slowly removed the wine glass from my lips giving my full attention.  He started to explain that his ex wife was actually his separated wife.  According to Sully one day she discovered his hidden infidelity with a women out of town and snapped.  She ran at him with a knife and hit an artery. It gets worse. When the police were called he was reluctant to press charges against her being that she was the mother of his two children.  CPS was notified and both children had been temporarily removed from his home.

I sat there in shock. How long I wasn’t sure. The framed pictures of his kids on the wall played in my head. I looked at him again, my head slightly cocked to the side in an attempt to make sense of what he said. Two decisions were made at that very moment. The first, ummm you’re still married I’m out. The second; I can’t date a man with this much drama no matter how much he spent on dinner. As I looked off in space his face became a blur, his voice became muted. Then the strangest thing happened. I realized that someone was looking right back at me. And that someone wasn’t Sully. In the shadows of the perfect date stood a women. And she was in the house with us.

AAAAAAGGGGHHH!! This time my inner and outer voice screamed out loud in unison. Sully jumped and turned in what seems like a single movement. She moved methodically closer her eyes locked on me. “CAREN! CAREN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! YOU KNOW THERE’S A RESTRAINING ORDER! CAREN! He yelled. We locked on each other and in that moment I thought of all the times I didn’t listen to myself in an attempt to please another. My life flashed before me. I thought of Mason. Yet I said nothing. Time seemed to crawl. She dutifully  crept through the kitchen. But it wasn’t until she rounded the corner stopping  next to the J Henkel knife set that I saw her bump. She was pregnant.

I’m sure Sully was still screaming her name. I briefly remember him yelling ” WE ARE GOING TO LOSS THEM FOR GOOD!” Yet all I could hear were my own thoughts, my own fears. I glanced at the nearest exit. Then she spoke. “Why are you in my house?” she said harshly. I started thinking of all the Dr. Phil shows I’d ever seen.  Abuse, alcoholism, bad parents but damn nothing was coming to me about crazy separated wives. “WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE!” she yelled this time. And just like that I was taken back to when I was pregnant and Mason’s dad wasn’t there. How alone I felt with my broken promises, how pissed. And I knew immediately what to do. “WHY THE FUC….” she started in almost a rage. She reached for the knives. “Caren, are you pregnant?” I asked softly. She stopped. “Are you pregnant?”

For a moment her face softened. She was a mother; a mom. Like any mom whether human, bear or lion she was ready to protect all that she believed to be hers. “Yes.” she said ,looking to be about 6 months along. “But why are you here?” she almost pleaded. I knew that I had to form a new alliance quick. He’s on his own I thought. It’s his fault we are all in this damn mess anyway. Let him be the first to get it. “Caren, we were just talking about you. I’m Teresa Sully’s friend. I’m sorry about what has happened.” I said. ” You have to leave now” she said walking past the knives. Maybe she really didn’t want things to get crazy but if they went there she had nothing to lose it seemed. “You told me you wouldn’t have anyone here, YOU PROMISED,” she pleaded to him as the tears silently dropped. ” Is this what you like, black ass barbie dolls…. really?” Waving her hand in my direction; her tone shifting as she talked. I started to interject but thought twice. This wasn’t the right time to defend my fashion choices.

“YOU NEED TO GET OUT!” She returned to me. My head turned to the nearby window. Ice covered the glass with a November kiss. On the sill was the lingering of a recent snow. I regretted my choice to wear the 4 inch stiletto boots. Yet this was my moment. Maybe my only moment.   Two things had to happen fast.  I needed to appeal to her as a women in pain and not say anything else to him. “Caren, first I’m going to ask for a favor”. She squinted her eyes and waited. “I’m asking that you give me the benefit of the doubt. I was brought here by Sully. I realize a lot has happened but honestly isn’t that between you two. So I’m not leaving unless you or him take me home.” At this point I could have gave a damn who took me home as long as I survived.  “Why don’t I give you both time to talk and when you’re done I would appreciate someone taking me home please.” Hesitantly I moved past her towards the living room in the way that one would move around a vicious animal. My heart raced like a horse.  As I passed her she turned and started to follow me. Her chest was on my back and I saw her hand reach out. I braced myself to be ready for this fight for my life. Instead she reached past me and turned on the light to the living room. “Please have a seat here while we talk and I will make sure you get home.” She said sadly. The alliance was made.

There would be no bloodshed that night. Yet it is not lost on me that my life was spared. Many have lost there lives for less.  Sully drove me home in silence. Caren and the memories of the night were still in the house when we left. I didn’t care why she was there because my prayers had been answered. As Sully dropped me off at my door he started his “I hate my ex dance”  again. He asked me to be patient with him while he worked out his situation. This time I was the one that stopped him in his tracks. Turning, I looked him dead in the eyes and said “My life is worth more than your drama sweetie. My son IS still at home. Don’t ever call me again.” We never talked on the phone again after that day. Once,  I saw him in passing at a youth football game. No questions were asked. No pleasantries exchanged. We had both survived to make better decisions.

Teresa Clay

THE TOP 5 REASONS WE’RE STILL SINGLE

It’s been a year since I called off my wedding.  And to say it’s been hard is an understatement.   Walking away from my dream of having a family was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I’m not one for staying with a cheater.  However, the moment I called foul I knew it was the right decision.  Many emotions followed. Anger, sadness, pain, mistrust but never regret. Finally I moved into a state of healing.  Now I’m wondering….why am I still single?  My research has unearthed the tops 5 reasons we may still be fishing.

#1 –  WE ARE STILL HEALING

Could it be the reason you’re still single is because you’re still healing?  Imagine that you’ve been in an bad accident.  Afterwards you walk with timidness because you can still feel the pain of your injuries. Maybe after a bad break up we react in the same manner.  If you find yourself still feeling those same old pains of mistrust then you still may be healing.

#2 – WE HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO NOT BE SINGLE

Ever feel like everything you do is a single person act?  Reading, writing, surfing the net.  Come on let’s get some sun. We need to get out more. Go skating, create a MeetUp Group, have a house party. Recently, I realized that most of my hobbies only included me. So I recently started volunteering more to meet new people.

#3. WE HAVE”NT CROSSED THE LINE

Yes….I’m talking Scandal fever baby! It may be time to think outside your traditional dating circles.  This has really been an eyeopener for me.  I used to think that only black men really could relate to me.  Now I realize this was silly. Maybe the guy you’re overlooking is the one you’re looking for.

#4 – WE NEED TO CALL IN THE TROOPS

Let your friends and family in on the secret. Often times people end up marrying someone they meet through friends. That means you might want to casually drop the dime. There may be a great guy just a phone call away.

#5 – OUR EXPECTATIONS ARE FIT FOR A KING

Hey look, I’m all about asking for what you want. But for me this has truly been a struggle. My expectations to meet an honest, handsome, rich, humble, loving, supportive person who makes me his everything could be a shot in the dark. So I’m learning to adjust those expectations to a more realistic level. Then maybe the normal person I end up with will love me enough to want to try to please me. And vice versa.

*So am I off base here? Let me Know. And I’d love to know why you think you’re still single. Until next time. Single & Sassy Teresa.

My Dinner with Nuns: The 5 Things You Must Do Before You Die!

I know what your’re thinking. How in the world did she end up at a dinner with nuns? Well, to answer that question you must know something about me. I am completely in love with people. The real stories, lives, thoughts and adventures of others quite intrigue me. So most recently it was no surprise to me that I found myself surrounded by 50 Benedictine Nuns. Of course, this was all do to a recent question I had asked God in a late night prayer. It was a simple prayer and yet only one week later I found myself sitting in Our Lady of Grace Monastery. Oh, by the way are you wondering what I asked God for? Wisdom.

It was a Friday evening a few weeks ago. Close to five o’clock I believe. Yes, it was. I remember now we were about to close the office when my last patient came to pick up her glasses. By the way I’m a licensed optician at an ophthalmology practice. We made small talk as I adjusted her glasses. She was funny and yes she was a nun. And this intrigued me. I have always admired the commitment one could have to God in that way. How brave it seems in our world to choose God so boldly.

Anyway we talked well after her glasses where fitted perfectly. She mentioned that she was rushing to bible study. They were studying Exodus. I shared that I was just reading that book recently but that I never really told people about how much I read the Bible. And just like that she invited me to come to Bible study and dinner. I was a little taken aback of course but more intrigued I accepted.

I thought about the invitation many times over the next week. All my calendars were set to the date. To me this was a sign. This was definitely something that was supposed to be. In my heart I knew that my request for wisdom had lead to this unique meeting.

What I can tell you now is that I will be forever changed. Hopefully you will be too. Are you ready to feed your soul? Once you are a person of knowing there is no going back. Here are the life lessons I learned from the questions asked when I dinned with nuns. Enjoy!

Question 1 – Why do good people seem to die from horrible ailments and accidents? I read that on Solomon’s quest for wisdom he struggled with this same question.

Answer- The nun to my close left said. ” I can answer this for you. Good people have lives cut short for two reasons. The first reason is because we are not God’s. We are human beings. Our bodies are made of flesh and it’s not designed to live forever. The second answer is because we misuse our free will. When people misuse their free will for evil sometimes good people get caught in the midst of it. Our free will is powerful. And the consequences are very real.”

Question 2 – Recently, I read in the bible that to love God we have to love our brothers and sisters. My relationship with my sister is strained. But after reading this I felt convicted and reached out to her. She wasn’t kind and it made me feel foolish but I love God and wanted to make the attempt to do as the Bible says. Did I read this right?

Answer – The nuns started laughing. No really laughing really hard!I laughed too but didn’t really know why. Then the one 3rd from my left said..”Teresa, you may be taking everything you read too literally. The bible is the inspired word of GOD. But if we follow every single thing it says we may find ourselves gouging out eyeballs…(we all were laughing now and I knew why). When we love others we are loving GOD. But we are flawed and he knows we will fall short. Take care to be kind and you’ll be fine.”

Question 3 – How will I know if I’m doing what’s required to get into heaven? Sometimes I’m not sure.

Answer – The nun 2nd to my left – ” I have been a chaplain in a hospital for years. One day I got a call to visit a terminally ill patient’s room who was hysterical. When I asked her what was wrong she responded that she had never attended church much and was scared she was going to hell. I said to her there are only five questions you must answer to know if that’s true. Matthew 25:34-40 says the blessed with inherit the kingdom if they can answer these questions, “When I was hungry did you feed me?, When I was thirsty did you give me to drink?, When I was a stranger did you welcome me?, When I was naked did you cloth me? When I was sick did you come to me? If you have done this for any human you have done this for GOD. After that she was calm. She remembered being there for her family and community in those ways. Her family was astonished. She died peacefully a week later.”

Question 4 – When we are dying are we supposed to prepare or do something? There is so much unknown.

Answer – The nun to my right – ” Before you die if time allows you are to do five things. First, say I’m sorry. Second, ask for forgiveness. Third, say “I Love You”. Fourth, say “Thank You”. Lastly, we must say goodbye.” She then asked me…”I bet you thought I was describing what to say to GOD”. “Yes”, I answered. She continued..”No, these are the things you must do with your loved ones.” My mind was blown. And I knew to the bottom of my soul this was true.

Question 5 – Our world is changing so much. There are so many different views. How do you stay true to who you are and allow people to be themselves?

Answer – The nun that invited me – “Teresa, my best friend of 40 years in Muslim.” My mouth feel open. She smiled and continued. ” We all are more alike than we are different. We are not called to only love those just like us. We must love our neighbor no matter who they are. And for the things we are unable to affect we must pray. Always pray.”

That day I asked many questions. But these are the ones that I knew where the most important to share. In all I spent about 3 hours with the nuns. They were sincere and welcoming. Beautiful souls. I hope this helps someone. Since that day I’ve felt this overwhelming feeling to share what I’ve learned. I’m so happy that GOD opened my heart to this experience. After that day I decided to organize a group of volunteers to help plant flowers in the Peace & Nature Garden at the monastery.  It just didn’t seem right to have gotten so much and return nothing. I can’t wait!  I pray that this truth is a blessing to you.

Love, Teresa

The Peculiar Adventures of Dating: The Black American Girl and White American Guy

Scandal has changed me! Like many “Gladiators” Olivia Pope has opened my eyes to the possibility of dating comfortably out side of my race. Seeing those steamy scenes with ‘the prez” are enough to make any sista sing! Whew….and hey it’s not just me. There are hundreds of articles about African American women being more opened to interracial dating. And like millions of Americans I have a bounty of online dating site profiles. EHarmony, POF, Match.com and whatever lastest craze that guarantee to cure my singleness disease with a life time of bliss. So while perusing my online dating inbox on POF I’ve recently noticed that I have been receiving a lot of messages from White Guys. Interesting I think. I mean I’ve dabbled with the thought of dating outside my race several times but have held back on the whole public thing for the same reasons many AAW’s are less likely to jump that fence. Will I feel uncomfortable? Will people say something? Will he love my big butt? Can I see myself kissing those thin lips? Hmmmm. So I decided to take up an invitation from a recent suitor to find out.

Enter Wayne, 36 year old heating and cooling entreprenur. Self described “fun guy with an awesome kid” 5’11 nice hair and adorable smile. Wayne and I spoke a few times on the phone and seemed to have an instant connection. He not only watched Scandal but DVR’d it! During our conversations he confessed that he dated a “sista” in college but married someone else and was looking for that old feeling again. The feeling he described as “passionate and honest”. He admitted to loving the curvy AAW’s and as a comfortable size 8 I was pleased to hear that. So Wayne and I decided to take this phone flirting to the next level and have an actual date. To keep things light and fun we decided to meet at Dave & Buster’s. Besides I had bragged on my POF page about my “mean basketball skills at D&B”. I have to admit that I was nervous. I mean not everyone has the sex appeal and confidence of the iconic Olivia Pope. So on a Saturday night I rolled into the parking lot for the “pre-meet”. This is what online daters do to see if they like each other enough to be stuck together for the next few hours. While singing “Break Away” by Kelly Clarkson as I rolled in I decided not to stress and just have a good time.

I called to tell him I was there. Of course he got there first and a few seconds later walking towards me was the cutest guy dripping in everything that The Buckle sold. With a fashion consciousness, deep dimples, great smile and nice bod Wayne was a breath of blue eyed fresh air. All night we played and laughed. He walked close to me, held my hand, rubbed my back as if we had dated for years. Honestly, I couldn’t remember this kind of tenderness before. We both loved country music and The Big Bang Theory. Who could hate Sheldon? We laughed at the same things and Goggled silly questions in the middle of the night. Friends first then more. Wayne and I dated for about 3 months before we decided to call it quits. Living two hours away from each other was a struggle. Kids, life and work….enough said. Funny thing is I wasn’t sad. I realized something that night. Though I lost every basketball game we played that night what I won was so much more. I became more open to life and love, to the beauty of differences. Wayne made me realize what Olivia Pope has been trying to tell us, that race is not a barrier it’s an excuse. Hey, I don’t know who my future husband will be but I’m totally open to the rainbow of possibilities that life can bring.
#whiteguysarehottoo

Am I My Father’s Keeper?

Time has gotten away from me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m running from it or because it is running from me. But the other day I realized that I had not spoken to my dad in over a year. When I was a child he wasn’t really around much. My mom had left him long before. It may have been the drugs or the fighting. But my guess is that it was a cocktail of many dsyfunctions. Yet in my mind he was my sacred hero.

I think this kind of worship happens in single parenthood. The other parent becomes a kind of silence safety net. You start to think “It’s got to be better there than here”. So when I would finally see my dad. Typically the day of summer vacation. My mom would drop us off at whatever latest digs he held, no matter how terrible it was. I remember I would just be so overwhelmed with being with my silent savior that I never asked the question that I’m asking now. Where the hell have you been?

5 Steps to Start Loving Yourself Today!

Life is funny.  No….really it is! The other day I was helping my son get ready for bed.  He’s six and very witty.  I can’t recall exactly what he said now but it made me laugh hysterically.  We laughed so hard we both were crying. I realized how funny real life was.  So along with stopping to enjoy life’s humor; here are 5 tips on how to start loving you.

1.  Laugh at Yourself

Hey I know life is hard. And during those moments it’s easy to get wrapped up in a burrito of negativity. Bills, kids, relationships and work all play a part of the stress we feel.  But life is really funny also if you are open to it.  I have learned to laugh a lot. Laughter is the best medicine.  If you can’t find anything to laugh about now recall an old funny experience and laugh ’til you cry!

2. Give Yourself a Break!

Ok, you didn’t get that report quite right.  You were late taking or picking up your kids. Totally blew your mind to return that call.  No biggie! Give yourself a break.  What would you say to a friend that told you that they had unintentionally dropped the ball on a few things? “Don’t be so hard on yourself”.  Well, you have to be your own best friend.  Forgive yourself, plan to do better in the future and move on.

3. Play a Game of Pickup

In high school you were on the swim team, head cheerleader and president of the student body.  Now, well you don’t do much.  Get back into the game.  Who you are should be more than where you work.  Come on! We are more amazing that where we are for 40 hours a week. Rebirth those unique talents that you had.  Groupon is an awesome tool for finding art and dance classes, wine tastings, bowling etc.  Join a class or volunteer.

4. Take a Look In the Mirror

One of the lessons I learned long ago was positive self feedback. Every so often when I feel the world whipping my butt I stand in front of the mirror and say 5 positive things to myself about myself.  Hey it may seem egotistical to some but psychology experts agree that this practice is very helpful to fork lifting your mood. It’s hard to be in a bad mood after you say ” I’m amazing, I rock, I’m beautiful, I’m smart” to yourself. Love yourself 1st!

5. Forgive

Forgiveness is something I talk about a lot. There’s nothing like trying to live your life with a boulder of resentment and anger holding you down.  Forgiveness will give you freedom to see how awesome you can be. The cool part is that is doesn’t require help from anyone else. Make a decision that “I forgive ____and I am choosing to heal”. Look, it’s not easy.  I get it. But until you can heal from some of your past hurts it’s going to be hard to love yourself completely.  If you need help get it. No shame in being sane.

5 Tips to Survive Foster Care: Teen

If you are currently in foster care or know someone that is please pass this article along.  As many of you now know after my recent appearance on Oprah’s “Where Are They Now”.  I went into foster care at age 13.  Having lived in 7 different foster homes I have a  broad perspective on surviving what will no doubt be a life changing circumstance.  For any child it is a traumatic experience to be displaced from your home. But for a teen it can be even more difficult. Often times teens are not adopted and live most of there years in group homes.  Having these tips will give you a good chance to surviving the system.

1. Don’t Shut Down

You have just been ripped from all that you know.  Stranger after stranger is asking you personal questions about your life, parents and family.  The natural response may be to shut down. Unfortunately, your cooperation is key at this point.  The more you use your voice and can clearly explain what you are feeling and need the better your chances will be to impact what will happen next.

2. Build a Relationship   

You will or have been assigned a social worker and maybe even a counselor.  They are often and unfortunately overworked and underpaid.  They have loads of kids on their case load.  Don’t let those hours spent going back and forth to court, appointments and visitations be wasted.  The truth is you really need him/her on your side. Try to open up. Be polite and build a friendship.  They will go to bat for you even more if you get along. 

3. Get Creative

A lot is happening.  Nothing seems real for very long. One minute you’re here the next minute you’re there.  But having a creative outlet will give you personal stability.  For me it was writing poetry. Maybe for you it’s singing, dancing, drawing.  Be sure that it’s something you can do anywhere. This will also serve as a way to relieve anger or emotions in a healthy manner instead of on the people around you.

4. Create Goals

This is a lesson I learned a little too late. However, it proved useful when I did.  Creating a list of 3 to 5 goals that you want for your life may keep you focused now and in the future.  It’s important that you know that like school, foster care will only be a part of your life for a moment in a life time. There will come a time when you are an adult in society.  Focus on what you want for your future. If you aren’t sure set small goals that you would like to reach within a year. For example; “to be happy, to have higher self esteem, to get good grades.” When you have reached those goals make another list.

5. Don’t Give Up!

Guess what? You rock!  God made you because you matter.  The world wouldn’t be the same without you. Life is hard and foster care can sometimes be a good example of that.  But don’t give up.  The saying “This to Shall Pass” is true. Believe it. Every morning stand in front of the mirror and say 3 awesome things about yourself to yourself.  And anytime you hear something negative try to say something positive (in your head if you have to). I remember feeling alone many times but I kept telling my self ” You’ll make it and then you’ll make a difference.” YOU WILL TOO!